Star Wars Fan Force Jalisco

El Jawa Ocioso

12 de Septiembre de 2003

Por Alberto Rodríguez "Pocho"

*Why the chicken crossed the road in the words of the Star Wars characters!!*

Yoda: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.

Vader: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.

Luke: Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.

Leia: I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.

Han: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!

Threepio: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.

Artoo: beep beep be bop.

Chewie: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!

Ben: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.

Boba Fett: What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!

Wedge: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it?

Jerjerrod: The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.

Bib: Die chicken wanga?

Biggs: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?

Tarkin: The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car!

Uncle Owen: I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.

Aunt Beru: He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.

Admiral Ackbar: All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark

Lando: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of gots crossing that road, after what you pulled!

Emperor: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.

Jabba: Bo shuda chicken!

Humor estarguariano.

Yoda según los Simpson

Yoda

Frantisek

Darth Vader al desnudo

Seinfeld Wars

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Top Ten Sexually Tilted Lines in Star Wars

amable contribución de Darth Pocho (ustedes disculparán la falta de traducción, pero vale la pena leerlo en su idioma original)

Top Ten Sexually Tilted Lines in "Star Wars (A New Hope)"

1.  "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
2.  "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
3.  "Look at the size of that thing!"
4.  "Sorry about the mess..."
5.  "You came in that thing?  You're braver than I thought."
6.  "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
7.  "You've got something jammed in here real good."
8.  "Put that thing away before you get us all killed!"
9.  "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care *what* you smell!"

Top Ten Sexually Tilted Lines in "The Empire Strikes Back"

1.  "And I thought they smelled bad...on the *outside*!"
2.  "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
3.  "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like
       that, huh kid?"
4.  "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
5.  "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
6.  "But now we must eat.  Cum, good food, cummm..."
7.  "Control, control!  You must learn control!"
8.  "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
9.  "Size matters not.  Judge me by my size, do you?"
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!"

Top Ten Sexually Tilted Lines in "Return of the Jedi"

1.  "Rise, my friend."
2.  "Open the back door!"
3.  "Hey, point that thing somewhere else!"
4.  "It's just a dead animal..."
5.  "Not bad for a little furball."
6.  "How can they be jamming us if they don't know we're coming?"
7.  "Come here, I won't hurt you.  You want something to eat?"
8.  "Keep on that one, I'll take these two"
9.  "I want you to take her.  I mean it, take her!"
10. "I don't think the Empire had wookies in mind when they designed her,
       Chewie."